❄️ Ling Fell & Sale Fell: A Freezing, Muddy Baptism Into Wainwright Bagging

Last weekend I decided to take my partner on a “nice introduction” to the Wainwrights.
You know… ease her in, keep it simple, keep it friendly, pick two hills that won’t make her hate me or question why she ever agreed to date someone who hikes for fun.

So naturally, I chose Ling Fell and Sale Fell - two of the most harmless-looking fells in the entire Lake District.

Or so I thought.

🥶 THE WEATHER WASN’T HAVING IT

We arrived, opened the car door, and the cold smacked us straight in the face like a passive-aggressive welcome to Cumbria.
Freezing wind.
Endless mud.
Rain that wasn’t heavy enough to justify waterproof trousers, but constant enough to annoy your soul.

Classic British hiking conditions.

💑 HER FIRST WAINWRIGHTS… AND PROBABLY A LIFE LESSON

This was her first Wainwright bagging day.

A moment that, in theory, should be wholesome and scenic and inspiring.

Instead:

• She got extremely wet

• She got extremely muddy

• She slid at least three times

• She called the hill a “traitor” at one point

• And I'm pretty sure she briefly considered rolling back to the car like a human boulder

Meanwhile, I was trying to pretend the weather was “bracing” instead of “hostile.”

Still… she made it to the top of both fells, even if she didn’t smile once until she got back in the car with the heater on full blast.

🧗 LING FELL: SMALL BUT PETTY

Ling Fell is the kind of hill that looks innocent until it’s not.

The wind hits differently.
The mud hits differently.
Your pride hits the floor when your partner overtakes you on her first ascent.

Great views when the weather behaves, but last weekend?
The cloud sat lower than my self-esteem.

🥾 SALE FELL: WET, WINDY & WEIRDLY LIKEABLE

Sale Fell is usually a gentle stroll.
But with the freezing weather and ankle-deep sludge, it felt like the Lake District was personally testing our commitment to this relationship.

Still - she reached the summit.
Drenched. Muddy. Victorious.
Possibly traumatised.

Will she get the Wainwright bug?
Too early to tell.

Did she get a cold?
Almost certainly.

☕ THE ONLY THING THAT GOT US THROUGH: HOT BREWS

No matter how miserable winter hiking gets, a hot brew at the top always saves the day.

If you’re heading out in this kind of weather, take a proper flask - your hands and your soul will thank you.

And if you want to look like you’re enjoying yourself for the summit selfie, hold a sarcastic enamel mug.
At least your brew will look warm even if your body isn't.

🧠 FINAL THOUGHTS

Two more Wainwrights ticked off.
Two more fells conquered.
Two pairs of socks ruined.
And a partner who now understands that hiking with me often involves pain, mud, and questionable life choices.

Welcome to the club.

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